I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize