Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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