She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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