Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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