the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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