She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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