Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(507): View more from Minnesota

I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today http://tfl.nu/y9fa

Replies (3) Good night (989) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won. http://tfl.nu/tu5d

Replies (36) Good night (21372) Bad night (3005) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work. http://tfl.nu/4b6j

Replies (9) Good night (3223) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(905): View more from Toronto

so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae

Replies (126) Good night (22993) Bad night (1617) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters. http://tfl.nu/tngh

Replies (16) Good night (886) Bad night (7897) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(831): View more from California

It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp

Replies (13) Good night (6146) Bad night (1428) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz

Replies (21) Good night (1805) Bad night (2510) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9

Replies (10) Good night (782) Bad night (2949) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D http://tfl.nu/3txw

Replies (15) Good night (2346) Bad night (876)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy. http://tfl.nu/6smo

Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too http://tfl.nu/ini4

Replies (11) Good night (493) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door. http://tfl.nu/ylk0

Replies (3) Good night (1346) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap

Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (240)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home http://tfl.nu/yc18

Replies (4) Good night (524) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back http://tfl.nu/uot7

Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (693)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: