he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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