I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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