I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize