it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
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he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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