hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize