i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the friendliest cop last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm like, not good at living.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize