You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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