i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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