is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize