Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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