she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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