i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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