somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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