I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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