idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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