Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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