i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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