9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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