Don't make out with my wife yet
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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