Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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