fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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