you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
MIDGETS
????
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize