I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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