Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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