FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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