if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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