you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
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Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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