WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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