Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize