Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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