she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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