this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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