Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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