I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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