two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize