hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am mentally ready for anal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize