i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize