Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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