And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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