I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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