Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize