I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there is puke in my bra ... again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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