Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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